Sylvia’s Food for the Day

Birthday is a great time to be thankful… for life, for love, for care & support from family and friends, for health, for the opportunities, for the lessons that life has kindly offered me, for the memories…

The past year has been one of the most memorable years in my life so far! I have learnt more about myself than the whole past decade put together! I found myself being as happy as I could be… but deep down I wasn’t happy. So I embarked on my soul searching journey…

When the student is ready, the teachers will come… that is so true! Many people came into my life and inspired me in the past year. I finally came face-to-face with some of my worst fears and blocks… feelings and events that I had selectively suppressed or ignored. Well, it wasn’t easy to dig out all the skeletons from the closet… it was a very painful process, but I’m glad that I did it!

I had also met quite a few interesting people… they helped me redefined and understood what I really want and need from a relationship. I had mostly fell in love with being loved, no wonder those relationships were short-lived. I finally met a person who I fell in love with whole-heartedly, unfortunately he was not in a position to be with me. But I’m still thankful for meeting him as I have learned unconditional love and compassion through this relationship. This experience helped me to work through some of my hidden issues. But the biggest realization is how much my friends and family love me, they have supported me thru out and I was so touched that no one was being judgmental on me. So when this relationship finally ended, I came around faster than anyone had expected… when I realized the lessons that I had to learn from this relationship, I was so thankful… My heart is now completely filled with love.

In terms of my career, it offers me many challenges and opportunities to be exposed to different industries and businesses. Although it could be quite hectic, at least it is diverse enough to keep me interested. So all in all, I shouldn’t be complaining… haha

With these major upgrades, I am ready to start a new chapter in my life. Let’s get it on!

The last couple of weeks of the year 2006 had been really hectic… dealing with time critical last minute stuff constantly… stress level was running high and I really felt like that I needed a vacation badly! One day I read about Viva Macau on a magazine and it was offering really cheap flight from $88 to Phuket! Haha… that beautiful picture of Phuket kind of stucked in my mind and I decided to check it out. In fact, I wasn’t sure when I could take a holiday due to the status of the projects… so not quite sure whether I can take any day off.

Anyway, I went on the Viva Macau site to check out the schedule and thought to myself if I was meant to take a vacation, then there would be seat available… There it was… seats available on 31-Dec to Phuket for $88 and return flight available for 2-Jan for $688! So I only have to take one day off work on 2-Jan and can enjoy a 3 day holiday in Phuket for less than $1400 inclusive of all charges for the flight! My next mission was to book a hotel… that was really hard! I even called an agent in Thailand, she said she could only get one room in this Smile Inn Patong after calling over 30 hotels… so I just took that room. I even went and booked the Macau ferry tickets. There I was, 3 days after deciding to go for a holiday, got plane tickets, hotel rooms, ferry tickets and annual leave sussed! Hehe

So on 31-Dec, the last day of 2006, I embarked on the journey of my first solo vacation! A few friends expressed concerns about me going by myself and I thank them for their care. But for those who really know me didn’t worry about me going alone as they know I can take care of myself. I used to dread being by myself… as if I’ll die if don’t have someone to talk to… but with my recent changes I’m very comfortable to be with myself now. So with my MP3 with me, a few books, a journal from Jodie to write my 2006 review/2007 new year resolution, and new swimsuit I went onto Phuket!

I took the 11.15am ferry from Shun Tak to Macau, caught a taxi to the Macau Airport and flew on Viva Macau to Phuket. By the time I arrived Patong it was around 7pm and the sun had already set. When I checked in Smile Inn tho… it was worst than I expected… it was like a cheap motel… not that clean too

Oh well, I decided to try to look for another hotel the next day. But first thing first, I booked a Hot Stone Massage with foot massage (Golfer’s Heaven package) at Let’s Relax Spa at 8pm, so I just dropped my luggage and went for the spa! When I arrived Let’s Relax Spa… it’s so nice I already felt quite relaxed getting in there. The lady asked me to choose my massage oil and I picked Sweet Bloom… the foot massage started with soaking my feet in some floral water, the massage therapist slowly and gently washed my feet, she was so gentle… I felt so pampered! The foot massage was very relaxing, not as harsh as the Chinese style and I enjoyed it a lot more… almost fell asleep on that massage chair! Then she led me to a nice room for the Hot Stone Massage. She slowly put that sweet massage oil on my skin, then used the hot lava stone to massage my muscle… I could feel the warmth of the stone and her stroke relaxed my tense muscles… it felt like heaven! I was in Cloud 9 when the whole massage finished! She led me down to the couch and served me warm ginger tea with cookies… such a nice finish touch… I felt so pampered!

After the massage I went for a walk around Patong… so many people on the street celebrating New Year… even tho I was there by myself I didn’t feel lonely at all! I was really feeling the happiness and fun of everyone… when I looked up the sky there were some lights flickering… it was actually an air lantern in sky! So I followed the lanterns and came to Patong Beach… which was filled with people and hunderds of air lanterns preparing to fly up to the sky! It was an amazing scene and so wonderful to be there with everyone on the beach, getting the lanterns to fly… along with the wishes and hopes. And there were fireworks on the beach… I took so many pics and videos til my mobile battery low, then I just walked along the street next to Patong Beach, feeling the atmosphere… then went back to my minimal motel room with a big smile on my face from the happiness I felt in my heart. Not a bad way to send 2006 away! haha

The next day my first goal was to see if I can find another hotel to stay… after getting charged with a Grande Latte from Starbuck, I went on my journey to find another hotel. Long story short, the whole Patong is fully booked, so I accepted my fate and went on to what’s important… another spa session! I took a Tuktuk to Baan Tamachart Spa for Traditional Thai Massage + Thai Herbal Hot Compress package. The facility is very traditional thai and not comfy like Let’s Relax… and not that clean too. Anyway, the massage was not bad, but I got mosquito bites on my 2nd toe on left foot, back of my left thigh and behind my left ear! Not the type of souvenir you like to take home! I’m still itchy from them Anyway, so I won’t recommend Baan Tamachart for those who has high requirements on hygiene and environment.

I was trying to have a walk at Patong Beach when I decided to check out the Aspara Spa at Holiday Inn. The pool was so nice I nearly wanna jump into it (I did have my swimsuits on, so just have to take off my dress and jump in!). The nice lady at the reception said they were quite fully booked but would ask if one of the therapists was willing to work overtime… before I knew it she said I can go for the treatment! She even got her staff to give me a lift on motorbike back to the motel to pick up my credit card. I did the Top to Toe Paradise package comprising Javense Lular Body Scrub, Honey Milk Body Wrap and Divine Facial. The spa room was again so nice… I felt so pampered that I felt like a princess! It was really nice experience. But what’s really nice was the fact that the massage therapist Ying offered to take me around Patong since I was there by myself! Her father was Chinese, so she can speak Mandarin. I didn’t expect to know a good friend in Patong, but there she was, showed me around Patong on her motorbike, brought me to buy souvenirs and we had dinenr at Ah Jai - which is like a Dai Pai Tong type… yummy food at very affordable prices! We had so much fun that night and I truly experienced the Thai hospitality. So grateful to have a friend sent to make my trip so special… there must be someone looking over my shoulder and taking care of me! It’s so amazing to feel the genuine warmth and care from "strangers"… truly understand and experienced the brother/sisterhood of Chinese round the world! Who said no good people in this world?!!

After Ying dropped me off at the hotel, I went to Starbuck (yes, again!) for a hot Peppermint Mocha while writing my review for 2006… it was so long that I hadn’t finished by the time Starbuck closed, so I just have to complete it some time later.

The last day of the Phuket trip was greeted by the lovely sunny day! I woke up at around 8.30am, went to Patong Beach for a walk (I reckon I had to do it at least once! haha) and was approached by this guy Jimmy (aka Jacky Chan!) asking me whether I wanna do jetski and parachutte… each for 700 Baht. So I asked him what if I do both… so he gave me a discount and I ended up doing both for 1,200 Baht. Anyway, it was really worth it! Jimmy brought me to see the beaches on the outskirt of Patong and also saw the Star Cruise anchored just off Patong Beach. I love the speed and the lovely scenery… did get a bit wet but it’s OK

Then I went for the parachutting on the beach, with a Thai guy flying with me and controlling the parachutte while I just enjoyed that estastic sensation of flying and looking down to the beautiful Patong Beach! I could not describe the kind of really really happy feeling I felt inside me when I was flying in the sky… it was so good that everytime I think back to the sensation I got this big smile on my face! It was a bit short, but I enjoyed it so much… I definitely wanna do it again!

After such exciting and wonderful experiences, I checked out of the motel and headed for the last spa treatment before I leave Phuket - the Trust of Paradise package at Thara Spa. The package includes treatment Herbal Steam Sauna, Floral Milk Jacuzzi, Body Wrap, Aroma massage and a facial. Again, it was so so nice and pampered that I felt like a princess. I truly enjoyed the experience and recommend this spa.

Well, every good trip must come to an end… after that wonderful spa, I got on the taxi and headed for Phuket Airport to fly Viva Macau back to Macau, then took the 11:45pm ferry to Shun Tak. By the time I got home it was past 1am. It was a really nice trip… and I’m even happier than I expected! So pampered and relaxed now that I can take on the world again. Would love to go back soon for another holiday tho!

I think one of the most unbearable aspects of being single is the lack of loving touch. Ever since we’re babies, hugs and touch of parents help us develop a sense of security and love. Coming from a loving family, I grew up with lots of hugs and kisses and the feeling of being loved and cared for all the time. I guess that also explains why I’m quite confident as a person. Confidence is built on the internal security that breed from the reassurance of being loved.

As we grow older, some people become less comfortable with bodily touch from others. Maybe it’s the conservative Chinese culture that classify bodily touch as inappropriate, it could also be fear of personal intimacy that caused by some unhappy experiences. I am obviously the touchy-feely type that craves for friendly or affectionate touch from others. Some people might classify my behavior as excessive PDA (public display of affection… haha) Oh well, I couldn’t care less about what other thinks… they’re just jealous! Hahaha

Don’t you sometimes wish for a warm, reassuring hand to hold your hand in times of uncertainty? A strong shoulder for you to lean on when you feel exhausted from the daily battle? A loving stroke on your head that send chills down your spine and all over your body? Tender kisses that kiss away your tears? A warm embrace that protect you against all the adversities in the world? Oh, how I miss having a loving partner there to share all the intimate feelings, to make me feel that I’m not alone in this sometimes cruel and lonely world.

But of course, this feeling of intimacy is not just physical. Without much love and trust for each other, such touch has not much meaning behind it. Only when two people are willing to open their hearts and are comfortable in expressing their feelings will the touch truly convey the love they have for each other. As I drift through the roaring sea of life, where is my safe harbor? Who will fill that void in my heart and make me whole again?

Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

You ask me if I love you   And I choke on my reply

I’d rather hurt you honestly   Than mislead you with a lie

And who am I to judge you   On what you say or do?

I’m only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch   The honesty’s too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you til I die   Til we both break down and cry

I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy   Leaves me battling with my pride

But through the insecurity   Some tenderness survives

I’m just another writer   Still trapped within my truth

A hesitant prize fighter Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch The honesty’s too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you til I die Til we both break down and cry

I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I’d like to break you And drive you to your knees

At times I’d like to break through And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you And I know how hard you’ve tried

I’ve watched while love commands you

And I’ve watched love pass you by

At times I think we’re drifters Still searching for a friend

A brother or a sister But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch The honesty’s too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you til I die Til we both break down and cry

I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

It’s been a while since I wrote my last blog. 2006-Q2 (Apr-Jun) was an interesting period in my life. Work had been mega challenging, not only the amount of work that needed to be done in ridiculously short timeframe, many aspects of the work were totally new and I was experiencing sharp learning curve… daily! Worst of all was the power struggle with the other parties in the project I managed. I had to deal with unreasonable requests, insulting comments, arrogance, hostility and cultural clash from the U.S. side, and had to mitigate the resulting frustration, kept asking my client to fully cooperate and to focus on the work on hand. I felt like a counselor having to calm my client down every time they received email from the U.S. side. Honestly, it was extremely tiring and frustrating… I was on really really high stress in the last few months that I felt like I was going to explode any second. Oh well, my client had gone to the road show so finally I can breath! Hopefully this road show will be very successful given the amount of work we had put into it and the frustration we had to deal with!

Love life in the last quarter was quite an experience as well. I was showered with attention from interested parties, many of them of high caliber and what my girl pals would classified as good "boyfriend material". But given my busy schedule due to work work work, I barely had enough time for myself and was a bit overwhelmed. One of the prospects was particular sweet, on initial assessment we were somewhat similar and he let me felt cared for, so I kind of rushed into that relationship. Looking back now, I was mentally and physically exhausted from work and really had no energy and time to date and to really get to know every prospect, so I guess I just went for what felt right at that time.

Being so stressed at work, I serious needed some TLC (tender loving care) to soothe my soul from the daily struggle. We had some great time together and I was at bliss initially. Then some core value differences surfaced on lifestyle, money value and most important of all, our viewpoint and the way we deal with problems. I am very solution-oriented and generally have a positive attitude towards life. I believe you can choose to look at a problem or situation positively or negatively, and my choice is obvious. So it is very frustrating and tiring to have someone who focus on all the negative aspects and "what if" scenarios in life and dragged to make a move on simple decisions. So when the initial sweetness subsided, he started to exercise "negative psychology" on me by accusing me of trying to control him while he was challenging my normal daily routine and kept talking about the past. By then I realized we were from two worlds and with our core differences, our relationship won’t work in the long run.

So one night we were having a tough time and he kept asking whether I want to breakup with him, I said yes. Then it was history. He tried to get back together, asked me to reconsider, called me 7 times a night at 3-4am, sent me flowers and even waited for me at my office building lobby, but he didn’t understand with our core differences, our relationship won’t work. It was my fault to rush into that relationship and I am sorry for all the hurt and pain I caused, but I believe that dragging on something that obvious don’t work will only result in more pain and misery for both.

Oh well, 2006 Q2 was definitely an eventful quarter. I have learnt many lessons and understand myself better in the process. So I’m all ready to embark on an exciting Q3! Hopefully it will be more blissful and less challenging… but in any case, I am ready to take on anything and anyone that life throws at me. Come on Baby! Let’s get it on!

I always think we go through life looking for our missing half…

I believe there is someone who is meant to be my other half out there… it’s just a matter of finding him!

One time, my best friend asked me what are my criteria for an ideal partner. After listening to my long list of requirements, she said, "You are trying to find You!"…

Come to think of it, she’s probably right! I want to be with someone who shares similar values, and we can see eye-to-eye on lots of things… someone who has the same passion towards life, who is not afraid to have fun and live to the fullest! Sociable, adventurous, loving, caring, happy… Strong and dependable, can support each other through thick or thin… Someone who is willing to enjoy and share every exciting moment with me!

Is it too much to ask for? I don’t think so… as I don’t ask for what I cannot give back.

Guess we all experience ups and downs in life. People who know me probably recognize that I mostly live on a high. I truly believe that you can choose to be happy, as you can always see things from various perspectives. If you can choose to see things in a positive light, why not? Some people prefer to be "safe" and try not to get their hopes up, so they choose to be more "realistic". For me, I’d rather enjoy every bit of happiness life has kindly offer me and try to make the most out of it! And if things don’t go as I expected, then there is a reason behind it, probably a lesson that life has, again, kindly offer me. So it’s up to me to learn and be a better person.

Well, some of you might know that I just came out of a relationship. It was blissful in the beginning but I guess situation changed and I was no longer happy. I did my best to try to save it but in the end it was obvious that timing was wrong for us. When my smile disappeared from my face, I know it’s time to let go.

Time to embark on my journey for the search of love again. I trust that my other half is out there waiting for me. Fate will somehow bring us together. Hopefully I’ll locate him soon… But there is no use just waiting in my quarter and hope that he’ll fall in front of me. So, I’ll keep having fun while getting to know some interesting people. Everyday I wake up I’m determined to be happy and hope that I could make everyone around me happy as well!

So Cupid, get to work now… this time aim better please!

If you have been searching for love… don’t ever give up! And if you are lucky enough to find love, give your all to treasure it.

I just learned that love can bump into you most unexpectedly. And suddenly, my life will never be the same again. If you believe there is a soulmate specifically designed for everyone, then I have found mine.

My heart feels settled, peaceful and filled with love. I am no longer a lonely soul in this universe, but I have found my lost half to complete me. Every moment I am totally surrounded by the warmth of his love, even when he is not by my side. The love I feel inside is so intense that I sometimes want to jump up and down in excitment, but at the same time I am calmer as I have found my cornerstone. Now I am ready to face any challenges in life as I know he will be there to support me and to share my happiness and victories.

Sometimes people give up on their search of love, too afraid to get hurt, too scare to take risks. But if you don’t open your heart, how can anyone get in? Don’t let love pass by… even if it sounds too good to be true, just give it a go. But remember, love yourself first, give all that you can afford to lose. At the end of the day, you are the only one who is fully responsible for your happiness. Hope everyone can find their soulmate!

Standard Charatered Marathon 10km Race 2005

OK, the story started like this… my friends from the 30s Group, Laurence and Francis, are veterans of the Standard Chartered Marathon, with Laurence running the half marathon and Francis running the full marathon this year. They organized members of the 30s Group to run the Marathon as a group and tried to convince me to join for a couple of months. I kept saying “No” to them but one day, I just thought “what the heck, I have 3 months to prepare, ok, I’ll give it a go” and registered for the 10km run online. This is my first time participating in a marathon (well, being a volunteer at the Boston Marathon doesn’t count, does it?) and I think my whole experience can be described as "what-not-to-do-when-running-a-marathon". 

1. Preparation:

Thanks Francis, Laurence, Andes and all the others who organized training months ago. Hmmm…. I think I went twice/3 times… missing all the ones that Francis recommended us not to miss (not intentionally, it just happened that way). Despite my best intention, I did not start running due to busy social schedule… you know Xmas, New Year, Chinese New Year… ok, they’re all excuses. And of course, all the other preparation work like trying to slim down (blame it on the festive food), stretching, practicing, etc. never happened.

Well, I finally got panic in February. In fact, I didn’t even think I am capable of running 10km, so two Sundays before the race (Feb 13) I went to the gym and tried to run 10km on the treadmill. I walked half of it and ran the rest, but that experience confirmed me that I could actually finish 10km! It was actually a big turning point as I finally believed that I could finish 10km (which was basically what gave me the confidence to finish the race). So the next Sunday I went and ran 10km in the gym again, this time running a bit faster and actually ran 8km and only walked 2km. By having done 10km twice, I knew I can do it, just a matter of how many km I’ll run and how many I’ll walk. (Lesson learned: Build up your confidence factor so you know you can do it!)

2. The Night Before the Race:

OK, another classic case of what-not-to-do… one of the biggest obstacles for me was how to wake up that early in the morning! I’m a night person and going to sleep early and waking up at 4:30am was really inconceivable. So I went for a relaxing facial and massage, then had a quick bite and ended up chatting to the people there. Suddenly I remembered Francis said I should have some rice before the race, so I went and got some pork chop with veggie rice from the Shanghai restaurant and I didn’t get home until 10:30pm. After the shower, I realized that I haven’t even read the runner’s pack (PANIC!!!), so I was reading the pack, putting the chip on my shoe lace, checking out where we were supposed to meet… it’s 12 o’clock by the time I finished! I jumped into bed and started counting sheep… (Lesson learned: never leave the preparation stuff like packing for the race and reading runner’s guide until the last minute! AND try to sleep early, 4 hour sleep is really not enough!)

3. Race Day (Feb 27, 2005):

I think I had pressed the snooze button of my alarm clock around 3 times before I jumped out of bed, looked at the clock and it was already 4:35am. Well, fast forward and by the time I finished getting dressed and finished the rice it was almost 6am! So I ran down to the MTR station, waited and waited for the train to come. (Lesson learned: morning MTR don’t come as often as they do during peak hours, so allow another 10-15 mins waiting time on top of normal traveling time.)

So by the time I arrived TST station, it was already 6:22am (I knew cos Francis called me to see where I was…). And of course I wasn’t quite sure where the baggage trucks were, so I ran after others who were also looking for the trucks, I finally found the collection area. But my truck no. 19 just took off!!! (PANIC!!!) It was good that I heard the announcement that late comers, like myself, should go to truck 42, so I finally got my big pink bag into the truck! Then I started looking for the North-Western corner of YMCA (where we were supposed to meet the other runners) and finally found Francis & Laurence there. BUT, the girls had left to go to the Start point, so I proceeded to the Start point…

Suddenly I heard the announcement saying that the 10km race had already started (MAJOR PANIC!!!!) and people like me should go to the Start line and start running ASAP. So I started running without warming up or stretching (What a NO-NO!) and before I got to West Harbour Tunnel my right calf started cramping, so I stopped and stretched on the roadside. I tried to run again and my left calf also started cramping. So I stretched again and decided to walk. (Lesson learned: Arrive early! AND must leave enough time for proper warm up and stretching)

My legs were still in pain but I tried to keep walking at a fast pace. The air was a bit chilly, but quite refreshing. I was greeted by the Standard Chartered cheerleaders along the way, who warmed my heart and lifted my spirit. So I tried to run again and of course, my legs cramped. I decided my best bet was to walk at a fast pace, so I can at least finish the race within 2 hours (again, I learned that from my treadmill run that I could finish 10km within 2 hours at a fast walking speed).

I finally arrived the entrance of the West Harbour Tunnel and it was quite a special experience. Many people arrived in teams and started taking photos, they were cheering, smiling and posing in front of all the “landmarks”, such as the “2km sign”, the marshals, the road signs, the toll booths, the toll attendances, the entrance of the tunnel, etc. Since I was brisk walking, and maybe I got a “photogenic” face (?), people stopped me to take photos for them. By the time I got to the other end of the tunnel, I must have took 20-30 photos for others! I kind of regretted not bringing my own camera. It would have been fun to take some photos before entering the tunnel (OK, I should be concentrating on my running, I know…). I didn’t realize that the West Harbour Tunnel was so long! It was about 2km long.

When I passed the 5km mark, I remembered that I could run at a good speed non-stop for 5km in the gym, so I decided to try running again. I guess my muscles were fully warmed up by that time and I felt fine running. When I got up to the highway and ran towards Central, I saw Shun Tak Centre, and ran towards it. Then I aimed for IFC, then Mardarin Oriental Hotel, then Chinese People Liberation Arm Force Building, then Central Plaza. I focused on getting passed these landmarks and before I knew it, I arrived the last 500km. (Lesson learned: use landmarks to keep you focus during the race)

The volunteers were encouraging us and I started to run faster and faster towards Expo Road. There were many people cheering for the runners and I felt so charged up! Then both of my big toes started hurting quite badly, my pace was slowed a bit but I was determined to run as fast as I can towards the finish line, so I ignored the pain. Finally, I ran passed the finish line! It was an exhilarating feeling! I finally finished it! What an experience! I saw Raymond at the finish line and he took a photo of me. That’s probably the only hard evidence that I have done it! J

4. After the race:

I walked to Wanchai Sports Ground to collect my baggage. On the way I was handed lots of freebies, such as chocolate, water, Salonsip, banana, and pear. I started to feel the pain, especially my painful big toes and tight muscles. Nevertheless, I was feeling very excited and charged up! I went home, had a shower, rest a bit, and then joined Laurence and a few others for dim sum at Maxim. Knowing that I was going to be sore, I arranged for a 2-hour massage, which really helped as I was not sore at all the next day. (Lesson learned: arrange for a massage afterwards, it helps a lot!) After the massage, I was so relaxed and also really exhausted, so I went home and slept for 5 hours. The only unwanted souvenir from the race… my bruised big toes! But it’s OK because that’s a small price to pay for a great experience!

Will I do it again next year? Not sure yet, I think the answer will be clearer when my toes stopped hurting. Well, I have learned so much from this year’s race, I will probably be a lot more prepared for the next race. Trust me, even with all the “not-to-do” stuff that I’ve done, I can still finish the race because I believe I could do it!